'TIS the season to be jolly, and if you are a footballer, potentially to get yourself in a whole lot of bother.
The busy Christmas period of football is nearly among us, with clubs all around the land playing fixtures around the clock.
But before then, some will indulge in a shenanigans of a festive party.
Often, in the past, these have gone very wrong.
From the extremely un-PC activity of dwarf-tossing to raucous all-night benders, these stars let their hair down maybe a little too much.
Chelsea, 1994
When notorious hardman Vinnie Jones is organising your Christmas party, expect fireworks.
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But no one would have expected dwarf-tossing.
Vinnie organised a lock-in at a West London boozer for a Chelsea party in 1994.
As talkSPORT's Tony Cascarino explained: "The idea was to pick up a dwarf and hurl him as far as you could.
"I had a go, but I can't remember how I did. They were heavier than I expected."
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Liverpool, 1990s
Liverpool were the dominant force of football in the late 80s and early 90s.
John Barnes, Steve McMahon, Ian Rush and Co enjoyed plenty of success on the pitch.
Off it, they took fancy dress to another (controversial) level, with David Burrows once dressing up as Adolf Hitler.
But, it was Barnes dressed up as a Ku Klux Klan member for one Christmas party that really took the biscuit.
Speaking to BT Sport, legendary keeper Bruce Grobbelaar revealed about one night out: “There was a fellow in a white outfit with a pointy hat who was John Barnes, (he was) the Ku Klux Klan."
Another tale recounts Steve McMahon minding the door of the venue, when he was confronted by a man wearing a white sheet.
"You can't come in like that. John Barnes is in there," McMahon is believed to have said.
"No," said the man pulling off his hood. "He's in here."
Absolutely and I’d do it again... and go as Hitler to a fancy dress party.. fancy dress parties are there for you to make fun of people you go as and the kkk and Hitler are figures to be ridiculed so I see no problem in that... I wouldn’t go as kunta kinte with chains on...
— John Barnes (@officialbarnesy) January 23, 2020
Arsenal, 1996
Arsene Wenger had just landed at the club, while Patrick Vieira was one of his first signings.
But initially the Frenchman couldn't put a curb on Arsenal's Christmas bash of '96 and the drinking culture that ran through the club.
"The tradition was we would go out and get absolutely leathered and then recover on our day off," Dixon revealed to FourFourTwo.
However, Vieira turned up to the shindig with his car keys in hand and planned on having a nice meal and a glass of wine before getting an early night.
"The boys weren't having that," Dixon said.
"So we took his keys from him, and soon Patrick was loving it and dancing on the tables."
Newcastle, 1998
As a tradition, everyone loves a Secret Santa.
Well, everyone except perhaps Duncan Ferguson, Dietmar Hamann and bald Georgian Temuri Ketsbaia when they attended Newcastle's 1998 party.
The gifts were handed out - but they were in incredibly poor taste.
Ferguson was handed a prison shirt, referencing time he spent behind bards, German legend Hamann was given a copy of Mein Kampf, while Ketsbaia received a comb.
Alessandro Pistone opened up his present to reveal a sheep's heart that questioned his lack of commitment.
"I'm sure it was a joke," the Italian unconvincingly said.
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Man City, 2004
When you've got Joey Barton, there's always a danger of things getting out of hand.
The clue that something could boil over could have been who Barton chose to dress up as... Jimmy Saville.
Armed with a cigar, Barton then got into an altercation with youth player Jamie Tandy at a Manchester hotspot.
He used the lit cigar as a weapon, stubbing it out on the youngster's eye.
Barton was reprimanded by the club and fined six weeks wages.
Tandy would later claim the incident ruined his career.
Man Utd, 2007
Party-pooper Sir Alex Ferguson banned Christmas parties from 2007 onwards. And this is why.
Several of the Man Utd team enjoyed a 13-hour bender in Manchester, which included a trip to Long Legs strip club, as well as some eardrum-splitting drunken-singing at a karaoke bar.
It was claimed that some players spent up to £4,000 on their night out.
Wags were barred from attending, with witnesses saying the stars were wild and out of control.
It must have helped for team morale, though, because the Red Devils would go on to win the Premier League and Champions League.
Tottenham, 2009
In 2009, Robbie Keane tried to pull the wool over Harry Redknapp's eyes.
He told the then Spurs gaffer he was taking his teammates to Dublin for a golf trip.
But he wasn't. Instead, they went on a pub crawl - taking in The Big Smoke's brilliant drinking holes.
Redknapp found out and went "mad", according to Peter Crouch in his book.
The 16 players involved were all fined £20,000.
Redknapp said: "Wednesday was their day off and Robbie told me they were going to Dublin to play golf. I had no problem with that.
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"I am not happy and it will be dealt with, and dealt with severely.
"I was shocked when I heard about it. I don't see why parties should happen in today's football - they're more trouble than they're worth."
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